Everyone wants power. How much? How does one get it? Why do people want it? What does it mean to have power?
Some people think owning and exercising power over
others makes them invincible. Others are
satisfied with having adequate power over themselves as they struggle with the
day to day business of their own lives. And too many people feel inadequate
because they believe they have neither power over others or themselves.
The average person may have a job, a family,
financial responsibilities, social responsibilities, and outside interests that
together contribute to a degree of balance.
One would think that, in order to juggle the lot, anyone would be
empowered just from the combined experience of decision making, but that isn’t
always the case, is it.
One reason might reflect the act of going through the
motions with mediocre expectations of success.
It could be, more likely, that balance doesn’t exist when people are
stretched too thin.
I’m suggesting, if we will turn to the language of
empowerment, that focusing on just five words and the strength behind them can
change our lives over time and set in motion the journey to becoming the
empowered people we were meant to be.
#1 Ubiquitous:
something that is everywhere, all around you, constantly surrounding you.
First,
the word ubiquitous has become, well,
ubiquitous. I read and hear it on NPR,
books, newspapers and journals, television and the internet, yet how many of us
fail to understand its meaning, even in context? Improving one’s diction with daily vocabulary
study is the easiest way to add power to your life. How can you do that? Read everything you can get your hands
on. Or you could just buy one of the many
books on the market promising to improve your vocabulary. Robert W. Bly
includes the word in his 1200 essential word list that every sophisticated
person should be able to use. He says,
“People judge you by the words you use,” and research indicates, whether you
use the words overtly or not, just knowing a wide range of words seems to be a
quality of people who experience success in school and later in their careers.
Second,
the meaning of the word ubiquitous implies,
more importantly, a complex but essential method of gaining power: ever present consciousness, advancing through
life with a keen awareness of where you have been, where you are in the moment,
and where you would like to be in the future.
Consciousness is ubiquitous, and it allows little room for denial or
projection or hiding in the shadow of your mind those issues that need to be
addressed in the light of day. Self-awareness
effects knowledge, and staying abreast of
the dynamic knowledge of every facet of your life can be immensely powerful.
#2
Equanimity: the ability to keep one’s cool in times of stress or conflict.
Living in the United States, the land of opportunity,
exacts a price from all of us: stress
and burdening conflict. While books fill
the shelves of our favorite book stores, and indeed people are reading them, the fact
remains that most people are suffering from the almost insurmountable stress that
results from striving to have it all—the demand placed on all students, the
responsibilities of marriage and raising children, of managing one’s financial
life, of coping with the political decisions that are made for us whether we
agree with them or not, and the enigma of communicating and building
relationships while metaphorically blindfolded.
This description of life in twenty-first century America may sound
painfully taxing, but the truth is some people are actually keeping their cool
about it every day, facing their problems and dealing with them. How are they accomplishing this feat? In 1989 Stephen Covey introduced a new way of
getting more out of one’s life in The
Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, and twenty-four years later
successful people are still attributing their equanimity to the precepts
outlined in his book: Be proactive,
begin with the end in mind, put first things first, think win/win, seek first
to understand before being understood, adopt the mode of thinking that the
whole is greater than the sum of its parts, and develop balanced self-renewal.
#3 Ethos: according to Aristotle’s Rhetoric, the appeal in persuasion that reflects the character and
credibility of the speaker or writer. Philosophically,
the character or values peculiar to a specific people, culture, or movement.
Ethos,
whether you view it philosophically or rhetorically, illustrates character. Aristotle establishes ethos
as not only moral competence but also the character and experience of the
speaker/writer. When Martin Luther King or Abraham Lincoln or Bill or Hillary
Clinton delivered their now famous speeches, their first appeal was to ethos
because it quickly establishes a reason for the audience to listen, and listen
earnestly. If people hear what you are
espousing and believe in you, if their actions result because of what you said
or wrote, it’s because you have earned their confidence; they deem you worthy
of their trust. You have credibility--and power--in
their eyes.
In The
Republic Aristotle’s mentor Plato wrote about a shepherd named Gyges. When Gyges finds a ring that will make the
wearer invisible, he concomitantly has two choices. He can use his new skill to commit acts of
deceit, or he can resist the temptation to go down the path of iniquity and be
honest and forthright. Because no one is
a witness to these acts of sedition, he seduces the queen and kills the king in
order to take over the palace. Plato’s
point here is that the just and the unjust will go down the same path if given
the same opportune circumstances. Down
which path will your ethos take you, and is this the way you have chosen to
achieve power?
#4 Savoir faire: the ability to say and do the right thing in
any situation.
From
the French savoir, to know, and faire, to do, the word implies a sense
of confidence, optimism, and proficiency in the task at hand, whatever that
might be. We’ve all seen people who seem
to know just what to say and do while we stand by still pondering the situation. What is their secret to gaining that kind of
power? There isn’t any magic
incantation; people with savoir faire may be either extroverts or introverts. What this skill does involve is working on
oneself every day, all the time. The person who knows how to deal with a
situation appropriately has learned from experience the essential benefits of
consciousness, empathy, and the ability to weigh the consequences quickly
before speaking. What looks like a personality
trait is really the result of much effort and perseverance. The person with savoir faire is truly an
enlightened being but also someone who aggressively goes after self-improvement.
#5 Mantra: From the Sanskrit mantrah, the word mantra refers to a word or sound repeated to aid concentration in
meditation. It has traditionally and
historically been used to denote words used in prayer and
incantation. In a more metaphorical way, however, and used most commonly in our
language—it is a statement that is frequently repeated by people in all walks
of life. For example: His mantra was just do it.
So
you’re asking yourself what does repeating words have to do with power? This is where I slip in my own personal
advertisement for meditation, the enigmatic but powerful and transformative
practice of adding calm to your daily routine.
Thirty
years ago I enlisted in a course in transcendental meditation associated with
the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. I believed it
would cure my headaches, which it did, convincing me I was far too stressed out
about everything in my life. The
headaches disappeared but over the years I gradually cut back on the meditation—simply
couldn’t find the time to meditate twice a day—until I eventually stopped
completely, with the exception of a few band-aid cures, usually waiting for
moments of tension to pass. After a
serious bout with a deadly strain of the flu, I began meditating again to
regain my health and instantly remembered why I took it up in the first
place. Today I honestly do not know one solution
for relaxation and stress relief that begins to compare with meditation, all in
only twenty minutes twice a day. We
don’t always think of a peaceful frame of mind as a source of power until we
own it, but then we often don’t know what we’re missing until we experience the
amazing benefits.
In the end the
power we all crave should contribute to a peaceful life. If you are an executive or a leader in your
field and your day is full of the complexities you think you already handle satisfactorily, these
five little words are like chicken soup—they couldn’t hurt. But I’m talking to myself here and to all of
you out there just trying to downsize your conflicts and have a happy life. Psychologists have told us for decades that
we have a need to feel safe, to belong, to be recognized, and to be
creative. Can there really be that much power to meet these needs in just
five little words?
Well, try it and let me know how it went.
His
mantra was just do it.
Bly, Robert W. Words You Should Know to Sound Smart. Avon, MA: Adams Media, 2009.
Covey, Stephen R. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. New York: Simon & Schuster, 1989.
