Raison D'etre, Adding a Brawny Punch to Life

 In an interview I heard recently on NPR about Syrian refugees to the U.S. learning English, the journalist concluded the program with this statement:  Learning English is the key to freedom.

In the current political crisis, I understand why she used the concept of freedom. Well, word friends, nothing is more powerful than freedom, and Power Word #14, raison d'etre is one of those superheroes of diction.  It offers its brawny punch to our writing and speaking as it underscores the things that give purpose to our lives.  What could be more compelling than unlocking and revealing what means the most to us?

Definition 
Raison d'etre:  reason for being; the reason for which a person or organization exists; the thing that is most important to someone or something


Origin 
From French
First known use:  1864

Use
Noun; plural form--raisons d'etre

Pronunciation
(rey zohn de truh)

Examples
1.  Taking care of the horses on her grandfather's farm seemed to be Jenny's raison d'etre, at least for the summer, which eventually led her to apply to veterinary school.
2.  The raison d'etre of the family was to provide a good education for their children, even at the sacrifice of their usual luxury vacations.
3.  The heated discussion between the two friends revealed the raison d'etre of their friendship, and they quickly patched things up.

When you look at the list below, the very fact that you recognize these names indicates little doubt about their raison d'etre.

Abraham Lincoln
Mother Teresa
John F. Kennedy
Martin Luther King
Nelson Mandela
Winston Churill
Bill Gates
Muhammed Ali
Mahatma Ganhi
Christopher Columbus
Charles Darvin
Elvis Presley
Albert Einstein
Leonardo da Vinci
Thomas Edison
Pope John Paul II
Rosa Parks
Superheroes of all sorts
Beethoven, and the list goes on.....

We ordinary human beings don't usually have just one particular interest--person, place, hobby, talent, that gives us our sole reason for living.  We have jobs, school, families, extracurricular activities and hobbies that consume our time and keep us devoted to maintaining order in our lives.  Occasionally, however, we do feel as though one special person is our everything.  Or our gratitude to a career that is especially enabling and productive leads us to believe, even momentarily, that this job is our raison d'etre, our purpose for continuing. It even may be the one thing that overshadows the bad and accentuates the good, solidifying that reason to go on living.  And perhaps it isn't the day job but the after hours activities--watching or engaging in sports, playing in an orchestra, enjoying friendships, traveling, that provide a raison d'etre and lend a different level of meaning to our lives.

Have you noticed that the added benefit to learning new words is thinking in greater depth about the application of the word to your own life?  The French call this something extra lagniappe. Another good word to make us more conscious beings.

Machiavellian, Amoral Member of the Dark Triad

Psychologists have a term for a collection of three undesirable personality traits:  narcissism, psychopathy, and Machiavellian-ism.  They call it the Dark Triad.  The third trait was named after Niccolo Machiavelli, the second chancellor from Florence, Italy who lived from 1469 to 1527.  In his book The Prince, Machiavelli discusses ways in which rulers of nations can use political expediency above morality and gain control of the people, basically through manipulation and deceit.

What kind of man Machiavelli was is surely demonstrated by the company he keeps in the triad:  narcissists and psychopaths.  Yet, we all know people such as he; therefore we must call it like it is and more importantly know it for what it means. Power Word #13, Machiavellian.

Definition
Machiavellian:  of or relating to Machiavelli; cunning, scheming, unscrupulous, amoral, opportunist, duplicitous, cut throat, unconscionable, unethical.  Can be used as an adjective or a noun--a person who follows the beliefs of Machiavelli.

Origin
Named for Niccolo Machiavelli, with the publication of his book The Prince in 1513

Examples
1.  Johnson's Machiavellian tendency to detach himself from any form of community building made him an ineffective member of the welcoming committee.

2.  The Machiavellian battle of ISIS to gain and control power over Syria and Iraq has been viewed by the West as a dark pessimistic view of brutal opportunism.

3.  During her last semester of college, Janie's philosophy professor assigned The Prince, the book that analyzes Machiavellian methods of governing people with manipulation, craft, and deceit.


Everyday life with its often mundane duties of jobs, school, and family life--hobbies and a bit of relaxation thrown in, often discourages serious responses toward leadership, including our government.  Generally the most we can hope for in exercising citizenship for the good of humanity is casting our informed vote in each election.  Furthermore, the average person is not a psychologist trained in the science of recognizing and diagnosing personality disorders. Yet, leaders of government, industry and business, and even education have indeed exhibited the cold selfishness that results in high priorities of money, power, and the advancement of one's career or position at the expense of the less powerful.  We don't need to look far to observe it happening today. Harsh management tactics and manipulative behaviors tend to stifle if not enslave people, and frequently because of our constraints of time and training and even consciousness, we are helpless in preventing them.

Thus, unfortunately, you won't find any answers to such madness in this post, but as you know, "Consciousness is as good as it gets."  Perhaps an awareness of the word might engender an awareness of our growing lack of tolerance for the actions of such power hungry leaders.

Savoir Faire, a Pleasure to Meet You

Some people never seem to get it right in social situations.  They get tongue-tied, or the words that they do manage to emit offend people, and what's worse, their lack of sophistication follows them like a bad penny, irrevocably repeating the behavior that holds them back from success. It has been said that skill with language is one of the most important qualities for getting ahead in life.


That being said, people with the ability to say and do the appropriate and graceful thing in these same social situations most assuredly have the advantage.  These are the people who show restraint and good judgment when speaking about delicate situations in public.  Savoir Faire is the man or woman with a firm handshake; a cautious, calm and appropriately friendly demeanor.  This social smoothness seems to serve them well, and they are remembered for it, which of course means they can climb the social ladder--or any other ladder they desire, with ease.


Yes, my friends, we have a word for it, savoir faire, thanks to the French who, by the way, invented many of the words we use for these important social skill-and-grace matters.  More on this in a moment.


Definition
Savoir faire:  the ability or instinctive knowledge to behave in a correct and confident way in different situations.  Used as both noun and adjective.


Origin
Savoir faire:  French, savoir--to know; faire--to do (to know how to do)
                       Latin, sapere + facare= to know + to do
First recorded use: 1815


Examples

1.  Jasmine, a savoir faire sophisticate, responded to the brutal questions posed by the reporters with tact and delicacy in light of the latest Washington scandal.


2.  Lucy Hargraves mingled among the attendees at the party, many A-list guests from around the world, with her usual savoir faire, greeting them with graciousness and charm.


3.  Alone in her convictions but tolerant of others, Sophia sailed through the school year with savoir faire, skillful in her dignity and good judgment for someone only thirteen years old.


Thinking about this new Power Word, savoir faire, I tried to conjure up all the famous and not-so-famous people I knew, or knew of, who might be contenders for the right of ownership.  Few people came to mind in the true sense of consistent behavior and not just a one-off.  The title is a demanding one, and so those who are the true savoir faire sophisticates are rare gems:  Franklin Roosevelt, Abraham Lincoln, Audrey Hepburn, Jackie Kennedy, the screenwriter/playwright Moss Hart.  There are others, of course, but then savoir faire wouldn't be a power word, would it, if all of us held this esteemed position.


Because of its power, the word savoir faire and its meaning have been adopted by cruise lines, restaurants and hotels, culinary arts, photography, tourist spots, theme parties, the perfect job interview that went without a hitch, the deal made so seamlessly, hosting the quintessentially elegant party, and French culture.  What do they all have in common?  Refinement, luxury, the peak of principled actions and speech.  Once again the power of persuasion in marketing is about the language we use--words, metaphors, and the etiquette by which we define our behavior day by day.

No doubt the French have cornered the market on savoir faire.  After all, they did invent the word, but the French may have also been the first to demand refinement throughout their culture.  Take a look at this list of French words and expressions that reveal their interest in a suave facility of life:

• bon vivant--an epicurean who enjoys the good life
• coup de maître--master stroke, planned action skillfully done
• de rigueur--required or expected, especially in fashion
• déclassé--inferior social status
• élan--distinctive flair or style
• Haute Ecole--prestigious higher education
• joie de vivre--joy of life
• panache--verve, flamboyance
• par excellance--quintessential, the very best
• savoir-vivre--etiquette
• soigne--fashionable, polished

So...
Voila, mes amies!  There you have it, friends.  Most of us do not consider ourselves savoir faire sophisticates with worldly wise experiences and that touch of elegance.  We're not perfect.  We make mistakes and say the wrong things.  Nevertheless, setting a goal to develop the skill and graciousness for speaking and responding adroitly to the people around us is a good beginning that deserves our attention; it comes with the promise of a better life.  N'est-ce-pas? Right?


Right.