Thaumaturge: Be the Miracle Worker of Your Own Life

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 Marc Pettaway and his troupe of Summer Mummers created one of the happiest memories of my youth.  One summer this esteemed theatre director cast my good friend Mary Lea Latimer as Helen Keller with me as her teacher Annie Sullivan for a series of scenes from The Miracle Worker. We agreed to enact the scene with as much realism as teenagers could muster, and, even as I got slapped around by Helen mercilessly, I loved every minute of that summer. And I've admired Anne Sullivan ever since for her selfless dedication to saving the life of a little girl destined to a life of meager experiences, a paucity of language, and even the possibility of an institutionalized life. Annie changed all that when she worked her miracles and gave the precious gift of language to Helen.

There's a word for such a person--thaumaturge. It means a worker of wonders, miracles, a magician, and it was first recorded in 1705, traveling linguistically from Greek (thaumatourges) to Latin (thaumaturgius), meaning wonder worker.

When you think of miracle workers throughout history, no doubt you think of Jesus, but miracle men and women have existed in every culture throughout time. In fact, religions exist to a large degree because of these miracle workers--Mohammed, Buddha, Hinn and Bonnke, St. Francis Xavier, and even St. Guinefort the dog, just a few of those thaumaturges who took part in miraculous occurrences quite distinct from the natural order.

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While these mystical occurrences are either the basis of our religious beliefs or simply an intriguing story, the real focus of this blog post is less esoteric and more suitable for the general public--you and me, and our ordinary circle of friends and family who recognize that our success in life is frequently attributable to the miraculous, selfless behavior of people who care about us. At the top of the list are the angels God has placed in our path along the way--parents, friends, teachers, ministers, and even the small acts of kindness from generous strangers. They may not have contributed the little fishes and loaves that fed the crowds, but perhaps they turned your day around with their generous spirit or guided the direction of your life.

These minor thaumaturges should never be disparaged or underestimated, but before you develop a co-dependency on merciful miracle workers who show up for you, look in the mirror. You are the first and foremost thaumaturge of your life. There will certainly be times when no one comes to your rescue, but when that happens, you have the option to pull the sword out of the stone for yourself and take the lead. How? By making good, maybe new, decisions about your life and following through on them, and when they don't work, you turn to plan B. Remember, no one has put you on a timeline--no one makes good decisions all the time, which means we constantly have second chances. The news gets even better when you realize that you are not obligated to other people's opinions. No one knows your wants and needs better than you do, and taking stock of them often is the best way to plan the necessary changes in your life. Below is a short list of five tactics for the thaumaturge you are:

1.  Make an assessment of where you are now and where you want to be in the near future. Keeping a journal helps. Begin to see yourself as a winner, but don't stop there. Do something each day to get closer to your goals.

2.  Begin or continue a savings account that will be an emergency fund. Be frugal in your spending. Do not overlook resale and thrift shops! Learn to cook and go out to restaurants for special occasions if necessary. The list of inexpensive outings with friends is inexhaustible!

3.  If your personal assessment requires you to go back to school, do it. Find the most affordable program without going into massive debt. Avoid making excuses or following unwanted advice if this is an important part of your plan.

4. Take care of your mind, body, spirit: Eat healthy foods, exercise, meditate or find a church or spiritual group. Always count your blessings.

5.  Give back to others whenever you can--a kind word, friendship, a hot meal. When we do good things for others, our old brains think we're doing it for ourselves. You get two feel-good moments for the price of one!

We are living in an age of chaos filled with greed and self-centeredness. Miracles are precious gifts that do not thrive in chaos. Let your decisions about your life be made in peaceful thoughtfulness, and watch the miracles bloom!

 

Living the Hygge Life: Celebrating Joy

 

I took an online survey about Covid recently developed by a major American university. A number of the questions referred to depression and anxiety, which people in the United States understand especially as it relates to not only the pandemic but also the current natural disasters that are wreaking havoc on people in this country. Other studies done before Covid in the last decade pre-pandemic have focused on exactly the same issues: depression, anxiety, and a myriad of stress-related illnesses such as high blood pressure, headaches, heart problems, diabetes, skin conditions, asthma and arthritis. What they discovered is that 43 per cent of all adults suffer adverse health effects from stress. Seventy-five to ninety per cent of all doctor visits are stress related ailments and complaints. Emotional disorders are more than fifty per cent due to chronic stress. Well, you get the picture. Houston (the world?), we have a problem.

Capitalism, the free enterprise system, and consumerism are not necessarily the culprits, but before Covid arrived, weren't we the ones who  chose to get up at 4 a.m. to get the kids ready to go to school and rush off to beat the rush hour morning traffic to get to work, work all day, rush out the door to get on the freeway to get home at a decent hour, make dinner (order in?), and end the day knowing we were going to do it all again the next day? Most people felt they didn't have a choice unless they let their American Dream go by the wayside, which they weren't willing to do. Now that our lives have been turned upside down and we still don't know where we stand regarding a return to "normal," I believe it's time to rethink the little things we do in life that will result in big changes for the better. I suggest the answer lies in a movement that the happy people of Denmark know well and practice every day, the Hygge life (pronounced hoo'-gah).  Let me elaborate.

The etymology of the word hygge is Old Norse and was first used between 1560 and 1570. A number of derivations have contributed to hygge: hugr, meaning mood; hugga, to soothe or console, and the Old English hogian, to care for. It is not surprising that the current English word hug is the close relative we know so well. Today the word is used to describe the act of giving courage, comfort, and joy. It is no surprise that Scandinavian countries like Denmark and Norway find cultural identity in the concept. What could be more comforting on a cold snowy day than wrapping oneself in woolen socks and a warm blanket, sipping a cup of cocoa in front of a roaring fire?

For those of us who live in warm climates where the thermometer doesn't drop until late December, what alternative do we have for practicing the art of hygge? Read on.

If I could describe hygge in one sentence it must be this: It is practicing kindness to yourself and others by celebrating the little joys of life and staying present in every moment. 

The opportunities to do this are endless no matter the climate, but unfortunately we have either forgotten how to enlist them or considered them a waste of time in our fast-paced, often futile efforts to achieve more and more and more. While hygge doesn't deny monetary wealth, the culture of hygge is about the life experience itself that may actually cost very little, and often nothing but your time. Relaxation, slowing down to "stop and smell the roses" is essential to self-care, and in order to perform that task it is essential to drop the feeling that you are obligated to live up to others' ideals. Once you have mastered that, you will immediately begin to slow down, and actually find more time for self-love and kindness for others. Below are a few suggestions for you to try as you incorporate hygge into your life.

1. Take inventory of your home. What do you own that creates warmth? Candles, pillows, soft woolen blankets, mugs for a warm drink, a cozy fireplace? Put them to use, especially with the people you love.

2. Go for a long leisurely walk, preferably where you can see trees. People who spend time in green spaces are healthier, and your dog will love you for it.

3. Learn to cook comfort food and share it with others. No digital devices allowed. Plan for meals served around the table.

4. Make gifts for people. We often think about buying gifts, but handmade ones are so much nicer. You are giving the ones you love a piece of your time and your talent.

5. Put fairy lights in your garden and have a glass of wine in the semi-darkness as you reminisce about the good times with a friend.

6. Before daylight, put the kettle on and have a cup of tea and a muffin in candlelight quietness before everyone awakens.

7.  Keep a journal, and even better, a five-year journal.

8. Make Christmas cookies with your family or friends.

9. Enjoy loose, comfortable clothing as you relax.

10. Write letters by hand and send them to family and friends who live far away.

11. Look around your house for things you can re-purpose, especially those that can benefit from your creative artwork.

12. Take time to curl up and read a good book.

13. Plant something and watch it grow. Flowers are bright splashes of color in your garden. Even better, try planting a herb garden in pots. Choose herbs that you would usually use dried. Now you can have fresh ones right outside your door. 

14. Bake cookies and surprise your neighbor. Maybe she'll ask you in for a cup of tea.

15. Plan a picnic with bits of food you have prepared yourself and don't rush. Engage in conversation and enrich relationships that are genuine by spending time outdoors together.

16. Make Christmas decorations for the tree with your family.

17. Emphasize little spaces in your home or office--a shelf, a table, with seasonal decorations, especially natural ones that you have collected. Fill a jar with pebbles and dried flowers, find an interesting piece of wood, a bird's nest,  shells, wild flowers.

18. Learn how to sew, crochet, knit, or do needlework. Make a warm gift for yourself or a friend.

19. Put seed out for birds and squirrels (opossums?) near a window and watch their regular visits.

20. Use cloth napkins as often as you can. You can find inexpensive ones at estate sales, garage sales, or thrift stores.

Living the hygge life is not a prescription for happiness, but it can lead to it. This cultural movement is about slowing down and living in the moment with people you care about. It requires generosity and the desire to foster unity and positive relationships, and the time devoted to this lofty goal will engender a sorely needed ripple effect. In an age where appearances seem more important than reality, practicing hygge can get us back on the road to our peaceful authentic selves.

                                                                    My beautiful family

Mellifluous: Music to My Ears

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Most of us take for granted not only the ability to hear but more specifically the sounds we actually perceive and the meaning we attach to them, the emotional responses they generate. For nineteen years I had the privilege of teaching English at a magnet school that also housed the Regional Day School for the Deaf and the largest unit for multiply-impaired children in the state. One of the student requirements of the gifted and talented unit of which I was a part was to learn sign language. Unfortunately, the hearing students and even the faculty rarely spoke of their own ability to hear; it was a blessing we simply accepted with little depth of an awareness of our own gift.

Yet how often we complain about the din that bombards our senses daily. This blog post is a tribute to the mellifluous, the honey flowing sweetness of words--from the Latin melli--honey + flu--to flow (1375-1425), that makes life worth living.

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In 1598 Sir Francis Meres wrote in his Palladis Tamia, "The witty soule of Ovid lives in mellifluous and honey-tongued Shakespeare," and compared the excellence of his plays to the greatest of  Roman philosophers. In Shakespeare's Twelfth Night, the bard himself actually uses the word.

In Act II, scene 3 the fool Festes sings, 

What is love? Tis not hereafter

Present mirth hath present laughter

What's to come is still unsure

In delay there lies no plenty

Then come kiss me sweet and twenty

Youth's a stuff will not endure.

To which Sir Andrew replies, "A mellifluous voice, as I am true knight."

It's no secret that I love Shakespeare, and when I hear his words in the plays and sonnets spoken with perfection by trained actors, I am in heaven. Whether the voice of Shakespeare is heard in the myriad of famous lines from the beloved plays or the hundreds of words coined by Shakespeare himself, we know that music when we hear it--like no other, and the sound of his words in the cadence of his verse makes him the greatest writer who ever lived.

Here are a few of my favorites from:

Richard III, Act 1, scene 1: Now is the winter of our discontent...

Romeo and Juliet, Act I, scene 5: O, she doth teach the torches to burn bright!

Romeo and Juliet,  Act III, scene 2: Come, gentle night, come loving, black brow'd night, Give me my Romeo.

Merchant of Venice, Act IV, scene 1: The quality of mercy is not strain'd, it droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven upon the place beneath. It is twice blest.

Henry V, Act I Prologue: O for a Muse of fire, that would ascend the brightest heaven of invention...

Henry V, Act IV, scene 3: We few, we happy few, we band of brothers; For he to-day that sheds his blood with me shall be my brother, be he ne'er so vile. This day shall gentle his condition.

Julius Caesar, Act III, scene 2: Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears; I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him.

As You Like It, Act II, scene 7: All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players.

Hamlet, Act III, scene 1: To be, or not to be, that is the question.

Macbeth, Act V, scene 5: Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage.

The Tempest, Act IV, scene 1: We are such stuff as dreams are made on, and our little life is rounded with a sleep.

Twelfth Night, Act II, scene 4: She sat like patience on a monument, smiling at grief. Was not this love indeed?

But let us leave the Bard for now and focus on the mellifluous sounds of music.

I grew up listening to my father play favorite ballads of the 30s and 40s on his guitar. His secret desire was to play in an orchestra or big band in the 1940s, and he actually did a few times, eventually giving up his dream to take care of a young family. The one song I remember most vividly is "Stardust." 

"In my heart it will remain, my stardust melody, the memory of love's refrain." 

Other than my father's rendition, no one sings it better than Nat King Cole--in my heart his Stardust melody will remain forever.

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And these ballads made me fall in love with the famous tunes of Tin Pan Alley, a decade before Artie Shaw's "Stardust," and I fell hard for the ballads of George and Ira Gershwin. The songs of these musical geniuses carried people through a depression and a war. During the Depression their sentimental music and lyrics reminded people of what was most important in an epic when life and death were merely a thread apart. George wrote the music and his brother Ira penned the lyrics, and together they created a world people could believe in.

Another kind of mellifluous music can be heard in the outdoor wilderness of our garden, where eleven bird feeders coax the frequent presence of songbirds. I think my mother must have been a bird whisperer, a healer, and birds found themselves in need of aid in her garden and even on her doorstep. I was in elementary school when she first rescued two young mockingbirds. There were others, but she taught me to listen to the long repertoire of the mockingbirds and their music became my favorite. I was intrigued with the screech of blue jays, the single note cardinals, the whistle of the black bellied whistling ducks, the cooing of doves, and the cawing of grackles, but none compared to the mockingbird. When Harper Lee's book To Kill a Mockingbird came out, it was my mother who introduced me to it, emphasizing "it's a sin to kill a mockingbird," who does nothing but make beautiful  music and eat the insects out of people's corn cribs.

The list of mellifluous music in our everyday lives is long: church bells, water in its many forms--a waterfall, a mountain brook, a fountain; laughter, a baby's sweet babble, the whistle of a tea kettle, a dog's bark and a cat's meow. And no one can deny the unforgettable sweet sound of the voice, the words we long to hear---yes, I will; I love you; the relief of a negative medical report, and the voices of loved ones far away as we speak online and on the phone. How sweet is the music of love!

2020 has been a difficult year, the pain of which few words can accurately describe. It is in these challenging times when we turn to our other senses to help us cope--food, movies, music, physical activities, pain-eradicating potions, online church services and prayer--lots of prayer. But we have also been stopped in our tracks and forced to slow down, and it is in the power of the universe when we finally pay attention to the details too often lost in the fast track of our lives. The silence and the sounds. May we never return to a time when we ignore them again.