Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Big Power from Five Little Words


Everyone wants power.  How much? How does one get it?  Why do people want it?  What does it mean to have power?
Some people think owning and exercising power over others makes them invincible.  Others are satisfied with having adequate power over themselves as they struggle with the day to day business of their own lives. And too many people feel inadequate because they believe they have neither power over others or themselves.
The average person may have a job, a family, financial responsibilities, social responsibilities, and outside interests that together contribute to a degree of balance.  One would think that, in order to juggle the lot, anyone would be empowered just from the combined experience of decision making, but that isn’t always the case, is it. 
One reason might reflect the act of going through the motions with mediocre expectations of success.  It could be, more likely, that balance doesn’t exist when people are stretched too thin.
I’m suggesting, if we will turn to the language of empowerment, that focusing on just five words and the strength behind them can change our lives over time and set in motion the journey to becoming the empowered people we were meant to be.

 #1 Ubiquitous:  something that is everywhere, all around you, constantly surrounding you.
First, the word ubiquitous has become, well, ubiquitous.  I read and hear it on NPR, books, newspapers and journals, television and the internet, yet how many of us fail to understand its meaning, even in context?  Improving one’s diction with daily vocabulary study is the easiest way to add power to your life. How can you do that?  Read everything you can get your hands on.  Or you could just buy one of the many books on the market promising to improve your vocabulary. Robert W. Bly includes the word in his 1200 essential word list that every sophisticated person should be able to use.  He says, “People judge you by the words you use,” and research indicates, whether you use the words overtly or not, just knowing a wide range of words seems to be a quality of people who experience success in school and later in their careers.

Second, the meaning of the word ubiquitous implies, more importantly, a complex but essential method of gaining power:  ever present consciousness, advancing through life with a keen awareness of where you have been, where you are in the moment, and where you would like to be in the future.  Consciousness is ubiquitous, and it allows little room for denial or projection or hiding in the shadow of your mind those issues that need to be addressed in the light of day.  Self-awareness effects knowledge, and staying abreast of  the dynamic knowledge of every facet of your life can be immensely powerful.

#2 Equanimity: the ability to keep one’s cool in times of stress or conflict.

Living in the United States, the land of opportunity, exacts a price from all of us:  stress and burdening conflict.  While books fill the shelves of our favorite book stores, and indeed people are  reading them, the fact remains that most people are suffering from the almost insurmountable stress that results from striving to have it all—the demand placed on all students, the responsibilities of marriage and raising children, of managing one’s financial life, of coping with the political decisions that are made for us whether we agree with them or not, and the enigma of communicating and building relationships while metaphorically blindfolded.  This description of life in twenty-first century America may sound painfully taxing, but the truth is some people are actually keeping their cool about it every day, facing their problems and dealing with them.  How are they accomplishing this feat?  In 1989 Stephen Covey introduced a new way of getting more out of one’s life in The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, and twenty-four years later successful people are still attributing their equanimity to the precepts outlined in his book:  Be proactive, begin with the end in mind, put first things first, think win/win, seek first to understand before being understood, adopt the mode of thinking that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts, and develop balanced self-renewal.

#3 Ethos:  according to Aristotle’s Rhetoric, the appeal in persuasion that reflects the character and credibility of the speaker or writer.  Philosophically, the character or values peculiar to a specific people, culture, or movement.

Ethos, whether you view it philosophically or rhetorically, illustrates character. Aristotle establishes ethos as not only moral competence but also the character and experience of the speaker/writer. When Martin Luther King or Abraham Lincoln or Bill or Hillary Clinton delivered their now famous speeches, their first appeal was to ethos because it quickly establishes a reason for the audience to listen, and listen earnestly.  If people hear what you are espousing and believe in you, if their actions result because of what you said or wrote, it’s because you have earned their confidence; they deem you worthy of their trust.  You have credibility--and power--in their eyes.


 In The Republic Aristotle’s mentor Plato wrote about a shepherd named Gyges.  When Gyges finds a ring that will make the wearer invisible, he concomitantly has two choices.  He can use his new skill to commit acts of deceit, or he can resist the temptation to go down the path of iniquity and be honest and forthright.  Because no one is a witness to these acts of sedition, he seduces the queen and kills the king in order to take over the palace.  Plato’s point here is that the just and the unjust will go down the same path if given the same opportune circumstances.  Down which path will your ethos take you, and is this the way you have chosen to achieve power?

#4 Savoir faire:  the ability to say and do the right thing in any situation.

From the French savoir, to know, and faire, to do, the word implies a sense of confidence, optimism, and proficiency in the task at hand, whatever that might be.  We’ve all seen people who seem to know just what to say and do while we stand by still pondering the situation.  What is their secret to gaining that kind of power?  There isn’t any magic incantation; people with savoir faire may be either extroverts or introverts.  What this skill  does involve is working on oneself every day, all the time.  The person who knows how to deal with a situation appropriately has learned from experience the essential benefits of consciousness, empathy, and the ability to weigh the consequences quickly before speaking.  What looks like a personality trait is really the result of much effort and perseverance.  The person with savoir faire is truly an enlightened being but also someone who aggressively goes after self-improvement.

#5 Mantra: From the Sanskrit mantrah, the word mantra refers to a word or sound repeated to aid concentration in meditation.  It has traditionally and historically been used to denote words used in prayer and incantation. In a more metaphorical way, however, and used most commonly in our language—it is a statement that is frequently repeated by people in all walks of life.  For example:  His mantra was just do it.

So you’re asking yourself what does repeating words have to do with power?  This is where I slip in my own personal advertisement for meditation, the enigmatic but powerful and transformative practice of adding calm to your daily routine.

Thirty years ago I enlisted in a course in transcendental meditation associated with the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi.  I believed it would cure my headaches, which it did, convincing me I was far too stressed out about everything in my life.  The headaches disappeared but over the years I gradually cut back on the meditation—simply couldn’t find the time to meditate twice a day—until I eventually stopped completely, with the exception of a few band-aid cures, usually waiting for moments of tension to pass.  After a serious bout with a deadly strain of the flu, I began meditating again to regain my health and instantly remembered why I took it up in the first place.  Today I honestly do not know one solution for relaxation and stress relief that begins to compare with meditation, all in only twenty minutes twice a day.  We don’t always think of a peaceful frame of mind as a source of power until we own it, but then we often don’t know what we’re missing until we experience the amazing benefits. 

In the end the power we all crave should contribute to a peaceful life.  If you are an executive or a leader in your field and your day is full of the complexities you think you already handle satisfactorily, these five little words are like chicken soup—they couldn’t hurt.  But I’m talking to myself here and to all of you out there just trying to downsize your conflicts and have a happy life.  Psychologists have told us for decades that we have a need to feel safe, to belong, to be recognized, and to be creative.   Can there really be that much power to meet these needs in just five little words?
 
Well, try it and let me know how it went. 

His mantra was just do it.
 
 
Bly, Robert W. Words You Should Know to Sound Smart. Avon, MA: Adams Media, 2009.
 
Covey, Stephen R. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. New York:  Simon & Schuster, 1989.